Comeback

December 31, 2022.Reading time 5 minutes.

Several years ago I basically dropped off of social media. I needed to do this for my sanity. I had entered into parish ministry and although I’ve long been an advocate of ministers engaging in social media, I found that the algorithms that allow social media to be such a boon for some were becoming deeply toxic for me. For whatever reason, the algorithms picked up on the extraordinary amount of loss of friends and colleagues in my life and it decided that I wanted to see and hear nothing but news and information about death and dying. Every time I opened a different app, the news at the top of the feed was about death; advertisements were about therapy and loss, it became overwhelming.

So I left.

Well, I’m going to make something of a comeback for 2023. I realize now that part of what made it so hard was the technology but more importantly part of the challenge was how I was receiving what the technology was giving me. While functioning in “parish minister mode”, I felt like it was my responsibility to answer to all of the death and dying that kept coming my way. Granted, part of this is just who I am as a result of my upbringing (which is a whole other story) I’m someone who always feels responsible. Yet, what has come clear to me since leaving the parish in August and launching into an entirely new phase of academic study and diving deep into my intellectual thoughts is that the world isn’t my fault! Who knew?

I’m not alone. Ministers of all stripes regularly talk about self care and boundaries and intention, but we rarely actually do anything about any of it. Too often, most of us spend much of our time feeling like the world is our fault. Regardless of our personal theologies we take on this mountain of responsibility and then have no clue as to what to do with it. This is part of why I’m coming back ‘online’. I realized that I’ve got some stuff to share that could help my colleagues and others who are part of the vast network of caregivers, support, pastoral ears, etc. who all feel like the world is our fault.

Over the next couple of months, I will relaunch my official website. Nothing extravagant or super fancy (shout out and deep gratitude to the folks at DEV especially Rachel!) but a place where I can be found besides this blog. I plan to also produce content here and in other platforms that will take a more pointed look at what sits behind the word “Spirituwellness”. My hope is to return to some of my roots. I embarked on ministry and started this blog because being a healer of bodies (massage therapy, fitness, Reiki) wasn’t quite enough. I wanted to engage people around what they felt gave their lives meaning. With five years of pastoral training and five years in the field, plus my prior studies and work with embodiment, I feel ready now to actually do what I intended from the beginning.

I’m also planning to test the waters of podcasting. I’ve always loved the interview/conversation format and with some new tools I will be acquiring this month, I think its time. All of this to say, look for me again on Instagram, LinkedIn and (ugh) Twitter. I may even poke my head out on Facebook again (maybe a little Soundcloud and YouTube as well). I’m giving social media a second chance. See you again soon in the new year!

– ALD

#FeedtheFeverofLove

February 21, 2018.Reading time 4 minutes.

This morning, I could write about the sickness of gun culture. I could write about the incompetent presidential administration. I could write about another nation working to sew discord in ours. I could write about yet another white mass murderer captured alive. I could write about politicians who value job security over lives. I could write about many things for many people…

But today, I’m writing specifically to the people of color in my chosen faith tradition of Unitarian Universalism asking us all to invest in better direct communication with one another. I believe that we are uniquely positioned to lead the change that the world needs to embrace. We have the creativity, the diverse and divergent views that don’t abandon each other in crisis and frankly we have the trans-generational resilience to stick it out, however long the struggle takes. If we want to see a healthier world, it must begin somewhere and I believe it can begin with us.

I am a casual student of the history of war. I am fascinated by the human desire to destroy the one thing that we all share…life. In that study, I have learned that the primary difference between warfare before WWI and afterward was the proximity of combat. WWI was the first widespread use of weaponry that allowed for anonymous killing. Machine guns, more powerful rifles, advanced bombing techniques and air power allowed mass killing to be faceless. Although there were plenty of horrifically deadly conflicts prior to “The Great War” none had previously been so impersonal.

As I see it, the latest iteration of that anonymous battlefield has become social media.

My personal prayer is that Unitarian Universalist people of color learn to lead the way in detoxifying our own discourses, de-emphasizing the veil of social media and remembering that if it can be said on a smartphone through Twitter, Facebook or YouTube, it can also be said by dialing someone’s number and talking directly to them. And even if it is not about talking in real time, or face to face, we can at least work to recapture the art of deep listening in social media spaces. I am not “calling out” any specific situation or person/people. I have been wrestling with this for a few years now. What is more, I also acknowledge that everyone has different ways of communicating for any number of reasons both physical and technological. But none of us can afford to forget that people of color have already had their faces and their identities too frequently erased by the dominant culture. It does none of us any good to be doing it to ourselves whether it be by shutting each other down, shutting each other out, or shutting each other up. We have an opportunity to model the multi-cultural, interfaith world that everyone else just talks about as a pipe dream. But we must actually be in conversation with each other in order to do so.

Starve the sickness of self-righteousness; feed the fever of love.

#feedthefeveroflove

– ALD

spirituwellness